Who is Eating RAW FISH!??!

So, here I am, sitting in my cube, listening to my music, minding my own business (I know a few co-workers who could afford to learn how to do this), and I smell something....fishy. I. Hate. Fish. I hate the smell, the look, the taste...everything. I politely ask my co-worker if she smells something, to which she responds "It smells like crunchy, old, fish sticks". Gross.

I take my co-workers Lysol and spray around my cube area, hoping to mask the horrid, vomit inducing smell of microwaved salmon. This does the trick for about 5 minutes. At this point I am gagging. My nose is in my sweatshirt. I am officially on the verge of a breakdown. So far today I have cleaned out snow from my car (thanks dad, for moving my car last night, but I could have done without the window open and all the snow in the passenger's seat), slided down our mountain aka our hill, and slipped in the parking lot at work (again). I am MAD right now. Why must people eat and even HEAT UP salmon at work?? Can't you save that for when you are in the privacy of your own home? I don't understand. I won't even bring in an Everything bagel for fear that it will "stink up" the office (not to mention my breath) and make everyone upset.
HOW DARE YOU EAT SALMON IN YOUR CUBE??? ARE YOU ON DRUGS??? Why would you do something so awful? To make everyone else sick to their stomachs??
At this point, the entire department is complaning. My boss, who is normally too busy to speak, suddenly shouts out "WHO IS EATING RAW SALMON????" at which point everyone bursts out in laughter becuase we are all thinking the same thing.

Just another day at the office....

Do YOU have any office pet peeves??

(P.S.- I acutally looked around the department for the offender. I think it was the freakishly tall lady who can see over the stalls in the bathroom.)

toddler taunting...

Why do I find so much humor in taunting my toddler?

B1 (innocent child): "I am not"
M (mommy): "Hi Not"
B1: "No, I am not"
M: "I know you are Not"
B1: "I am not Not"
M: "I am so happy to have a son, Not (insert last name)"
B1: "I am NOT"

This went on for probably five minutes with me giggling the entire time and my poor child becoming increasingly frustrated. I find a child's innocence and inability to communicate effectively hilarious! I blame my gene pool.

Testing, testing....

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